Proverbs 18:21 says “The tongue can bring death or life; those who you love to talk will reap the consequences.”
Words can build up or tear down, encourage or crush the Spirit. You might be on the giving end or the receiving end.
Toxic Words examples:
1. Any words that contradict God’s truth.
2.Any words that speak gossip through destruction or slander.
3. And words that plant doubt or fear.
4. Any words that break down trust or unity, create division. hurtful things, envy, jealousy, discourage or discredit.
5. Words you speak that shape your own future negatively, words you speak about your own life: too old, too young, not smart enough.
James 3:3 3-6 says “We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn where ever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tone is a flame of fire. It is a whole word of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.”
The words you speak have a far greater impact that you realize. Discouraging comes from negative thoughts, worry comes from negative worry, anger comes from negative hate, judgmental comes from negative judgement, unsuccessful comes from selling yourself short.
Janes 3: 7-12 says, “People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praise our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who been made by the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? Does a fig tree produce olives , or a grapevine produce figs? No, and your can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring.”
It is never a good thing to think without thinking. Once you speak those words, you can never get them back. Is what we speak, is it going to be edifying, is this going to be pleasing to God? Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Taming the tongue does mean controlling what we say. Not only does God call us to refrain from toxic words, God calls us to actively speak life-giving words. He calls us to encourage to bless, to speak truth, to build others up, to speak His truth over our own lives.
We are not only going to change the way we speak, we are going to replace toxic speech with life-giving speech. Instead of harmful thoughts, express healing, in instead of complaining, express gratitude, instead of failures, express God’s grace, instead of fear, express faith, instead of division, express unity.
When instead of finding what a family member did wrong, we are going to tell them what they did right. Instead of getting defensive and lashing back when someone give us criticism, practice self-control and thank them for their input. instead of gossiping about someone’s weakness, we are going to pray for them, Instead of complaining about the things we don’t have, we are going to thank God for the things we do have. Instead of speaking to the one thing that person lacks, we are going to speak to the potential God had put in them. Instead of seeking retaliation, and use our words to destroy someone’s reputation, we are going to speak words of reconciliation Instead of saying things like I can’t or I never, we are going to speak God’s truth in our lives by saying I can do all things in He who strengthen me. Instead of fueling fear by saying this will never work out ,we are going to fuel faith and say God is in control and He is working all things together for good.
Matthew 12:36-37 says, “And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgement day for every idle word you speak. The words you say will either acquit or condemn you.”
(This article is a review of Pastor Sean Payne’s message on 8-21-25, about Toxic Thoughts; Crossroads Baptist Church, Hartwell, GA, used with permission)